In my GP surgery this morning there was a very helpful notice on the reception desk. It read : ‘If you have any symptoms of the current influenza pandemic please do not come to the surgery. Stay at home and telephone this practice for up to date advice and information.”
To be in front of that notice to read it you would already have gone through three doorways to get into the reception area. There was a man reading it at the same time as me, we were both waiting to book in and we both laughed.
Then he sneezed and sprayed spit so hard and fast it bounced back on us from the walls. The receptionist flopped forward beneath the counter like she’d been shot - but she was just reaching for her tissues. Atchoooooooo man held his arms up, surrender style, and cried out “Hay fever, Hay fever, I get it every year. Since I was a kid, I swear I haven’t got pig ‘flu, honestly, sorry, sorry, ladies”.
The receptionist wiped his sneeze off her laminated influenza notice with an ‘I need danger money to work here’ expression on her face. Then she booked me in using a pink novelty pen topped by a little pig wearing a feathery, silver skirt.