A Bum Choice

I think that Victoria Beckham is as mad as a box of designer frogs and her  tight wardrobe makes me wince. But it is reported today that she is a big fan of a new face cream – and nightingale poo is the main ingredient.

I never had a spot in my life until I hit 50 and now my face and neck  are like the Himalayas. Once a month a particular  pustule inflates to the size  and shape of a pea on the tip of my nose . I think it must be full of menstrual blood because as soon as I start my period it disappears.  

No  bird poo is required to keep me young and chirpy, Sudocrem works well enough on my pox.  And how exactly do the manufacturers of the product collect the essential nightingale poo for Victoria’s skin treatment ?  Birdy nappies ?  By dispatching bird watchers  up a tree armed with fishing nets or poop scoops ? Maybe it’s done with a long tube as in  nightingale colonics ? Or do they get hold of a nightingale and just squeeze  ?

And I bet that nightingale poo  face cream doesn’t come  cheep.

4 comments to A Bum Choice

  • Moya

    At last there is a reason to explain why Posh is as she is ! Those large sunglasses, the sucked in cheeks, the pursed lips and the skeletal body are all due to the effects of her new found beauty cream. The stench after every application requires the sunglasses to hide red and watering eyes , and fear of inhaling the ghastly odour has resulted in the ability to hold her breath — hence the pout and sucked in cheeks. The stick thin body is the result of not being able to open her mouth for fear of inhaling the poo smell!
    There are no nightingales nearby BUT I do own a dog………………………

  • I feel silly for disliking someone so much that I’ve never met (Vicki B) but I do. I try to be charitable and think ‘She’s just a Mom, like, me’ but then I hear her interviewed and she is so superficial , or I see her in some rotten outfit and I return to disliking mode. Really, we should feel sorry for her and her false life, I guess, but nightingale poo?!?! Let’s face it, the birds are probably hurt or murdered in the harvesting of the poo, so that False-life Vicki can continue to look like poo. The mind boggles…

  • Anna May

    Hi Nuala, shall we give VB the benefit of the doubt and assume she lies in the long grass waiting for the nightingale to do what comes naturally on her face ?
    Anna May x