Narky and Hutch

I was sitting drinking a cup of tea in the garden this morning surveying my land when I had a creeping sensation that something was amiss.  A quick check confirmed I was wearing underwear,  there was tea in my cup and no bugs in my ears.  I hadn’t left any water running inside, the gas on or the front door open.  Everything seemed to be in place on the patio and yet…… Then – it whacked me in the eye – all my flowers were  bald. Worse, they were decapitated.  Every pot was offering up a bunch of stubby stalks and nothing else. My trailing lobelia didn’t and my bizzie lizzies weren’t.

I knew instantly who the culprit was – the black mask and  stripey tshirt wearing buck rabbit next door who has a swag bag in the corner of his huge apex roofed hutch. “He’th a miniature rabbit, and he’th called Tiny”  said his six year old daddy who was lisping because his two front teeth had gone the way of the tooth fairy. He’d used her money to buy the bunny. Aaaaaah!

Tiny has grown into the Incredible Hulk with floppy ears and a pom pom tail and jaws that can swallow a full size rhodedendron bush without  even a burp. He has hunkers so big that it looks like he’s on a trampoline from my side of the garden, when he’s just having an early morning potter on his side. I’ve seen him fight with a fox and win.

There’s no point complaining to next door – Tiny has eaten the legs off their patio furniture and made a good start on the ornamental rockery wall, so they’ll only tell me I’m getting off light. I’m going to the council on Monday and requesting they serve a RASBO.

3 comments to Narky and Hutch

  • Julie Pereira

    How is Tiny getting in to your garden? Is he burrowing Alcastraz style under the fence is stepping over it? You need to leave some nice juicy carrots for him to deter him eating everything else. Either that or you need to hire a oversized fox outfit and sit amongst you flower beds waiting for him to come a-munching so you can scare him!

  • Debbie

    Or leave a recipe book on how make rabbit stew in the garden with a huge cauldron.

  • Anna May

    Sssh Debbie, don’t say rabbit stew, if Tiny hears those words he’ll start eating my car in a revenge attack
    Anna May x