Narky and Hutch

I was sitting drinking a cup of tea in the garden this morning surveying my land when I had a creeping sensation that something was amiss. A quick check confirmed I was wearing underwear, there was tea in my cup and no bugs in my ears. I hadn’t left any water running inside, the gas […]

Red Alert

So Lorraine marches on in The Apprentice. Yet week after week she fails the lipstick test. Would you pay £100,000 a year to someone who can’t figure out where her lips begin and end ? There must be lightbulbs in that multi million pound penthouse the candidiates are staying in, so why doesn’t Lorraine stand […]

A Tony Award ? The Whinny Is….

I went to see the play War Horse last night and projectile cried. I could see the people sat several rows in front of me looking upwards because they thought the fire sprinklers were dripping on them, but it was me. It’s the second most that I have ever cried at the theatre after Les […]

Fright and Fuzz

Very good writing news – my play ‘Changes’ which is about an 80 year widow who finds love on her Dial-A-Ride bus is going to be performed for FIVE nights in London in late July. Venue to be confirmed.

I have a long list of things to worry about including; will it be any good? […]

Burn Baby Burn

Earlier today my husband put his plastic pinny on, the one with a huge pair of bosoooms on the front with tinsel tassles and dragged our barbeque out of hibernation and into position on the patio. Using a brush that was thick with dust and insect larvae that I am sure he cleared the […]

James 4 Margaret

I think Margaret has got a crush on James in a motherly ‘lets go to bed so I can tuck you in nicely’ kind of way. I saw her laughing at him with gay abandon last night.

And what about those baby high heeled shoes that were offered for sale at the Baby Show ? […]

Would You Like A Receipt ?

I hope John Lewis will do their bit now and put handwritten signs on their shop doors that read ‘Only 2 MP’s at any one time’

I’ve been Awarded…..

Thank you Nuala Ni Chonchuir – who has a cracking blog of her own – for giving me this award. It’s taken me a couple of days to post it here because I had to have my hair done – smooth and swingy and very tickly round the ears, and a new outfit […]

A Big Bloody Hand for Siralun

I got a good look at Debra this week and now I remember where I’ve seen her before – she’s Morticia Adam’s identical twin sister.

Siralun didn’t fire Debra because he’s scared that her bloody dismembered hand will slide along the boardroom table and then jump up and get him by the scraggy throat if […]

No More Where

My husband and I meet in the middle of the day. He leaps out of bed before dawn singing Irish rebel songs and rushes out into the garden to sniff and lick the dew as I groan and drool and push my face into the pillow willing the day to go away until 2pm. That […]