Moi ? Embarrassing ? I must be because I was invited onto tonight’s Stephen Nolan Show on BBC Radio 5 Live to talk about things I have said or done that left my children red-faced.
In my defence I believe that offspring get to a certain age and accuse their parents of being embarrassing for daring to breathe in and out. My daughter and I visited Marks and Spencer together this week and visited the loos together. When I emerged to wash my hands she hissed at me “You pee like a horse, it’s SO embarrassing!” She’s my youngest and took my pelvic floor muscles to tipping point , so how dare she ?
On Radio 5 tonight I confessed about the time I appeared on stage in their school hall. I was playing charades for a Family Fun Day fundraiser. My charade was a book, a film, 4 words, each of one syllable. It was all going so well, someone in the audience called out ’Gone With the Wind?’, I shouted back a triumphant ‘Yesssss!’ and then produced some cracking wind of my own. Unfortunately it had several syllables and reached the four corners of the room.
To this day I blame the bring a dish international buffet for my impromptu ‘bum belch’ ,as my son helpfully called it. There were far too many red kidney beans for my taste. I looked to my family for support but the lot of them had scattered because they thought their embarrassment was more acute than mine.
Wrong. And I promise this blog will now be methane free forever more.
