Thank you RTE Radio 1 for shortlisting my story ‘Tipping Point’ in the Francis MacManus Short Story Competition. There were 700 entries and it’s thrilling to make it into the top 22.
It’s been the best of times this week – the entire extended family - 13 of us in total, went to Blackpool for a short break. We have spent almost two decades staying in mobile homes in France at holiday time, which we loved, but reluctantly had to stop because three of my four children grew to six feet tall and over and had to sleep with their knees bent and their feet flat on the floor because the caravan beds were so short.
Hotels are still a novelty and a rare treat so setting up camp in the Hilton was bliss. The best bit were the fairies that came to our rooms daily and made the beds, cleaned the sinks, shined the mirrors and left warm fluffy towels that I didn’t have to wash, dry or fold.
Towel management is very important to me because my son and three daughters shower at least twice a day and use four towels apiece for each ablution. One towel wraps around their body, one goes over their shoulders, the other is for their hair and then there’s one to stand on. And, believe it or not they try to use a clean quartet of towels for each bathroom visit. This means that when they are all at home I could be permanently stationed by the washer/drier dealing with a minimum 32 towels each day. This doesn’t happen, but only because I stand guard by the towel cupboard wearing the biggest towel in the house nappy sumo style ready to wrestle them to the ground if they try to storm it.
My superclean family double crossed me at Blackpool Pleasure Beach by distracting me and loading me onto a ride called Valhalla . They promised it would be just like the It’s A Small World ride at Disney which was a gentle float in a pink and white boat with lots of cheery singing mice along the route. My adorable children are filthy liars. Valhalla was grevious bodily and mental harm. I was fired backwards, sideways, up and down sheer drops at speed, pelted in the face by water cannons, shot at by hot steam jets and spun around at a vomit inducing rate to a musical accompaniment of eardrum busting satanic chanting. To get on and off Valhalla I had to jump into and then out of a moving boat. My children had to help me get into the boat for the start of the ride but I kangaroo hopped out all on my lonesome because I was terrified at the prospect of going around again. My offspring agreed that was the funniest part of the entire ride - watching me leap out of the boat soaked through, shrieking and dizzily running for the exit.
Checking out of the hotel I experienced strong separation pains. I wept and pleaded with the housekeeping team to come and live at my house and work 24 hours for free but oddly enough they weren’t tempted.
I am one of the extended 13 and agree that our trip to Blackpool was fantastic fun. Our off spring are still drooling over the ‘ eat as much as you want’ motto at meal times. George , my brother- in- law, resorted to a yoga like position and a low murmured chant in order to resite his internal organs to accomodate these gargantuan feasts!!!! Our families met the challenges of Pleasure Beach with gritted teeth and girded loins. Three knocks and a whispered ‘Julie’ gained all 13 entry into a single room where we tippled and nibbled and played a game that involved werewolves, villagers, a doctor and a clairvoyant—– many thanks to May.I love being part of the 13.
You get shortlisted for the MacManus and proceed to talk about towels!!! Prioritise woman!! No modesty.
Seriously, BIG congrats. You are on a literary winning streak; I had a year like that in 2004 and it was dreamy!
When is the prize giving ceremony on? Will you be there? Your story will be on the radio – we’ll all get to hear it. Yay!!
Re towels: TG I have only one in the teens, so the endless towel festival is minimal, so far…
Sorry ——- I missed the second m in accomModate!!!!! Also, it was Amy who took charge of the game.
VALHALLA VALHALLA VAHALLA LA!
Bring back memories?
Hello Moya, a werewolf, a doctor, a clairvoyant and common and garden villagers – all with a glass in their hand – that just about sums the family up doesn’t it ? Hope your concussion is improving,
Anna May x
Hi there Nuala,
I can’t begin to write until the towels are washed, dried folded and under lock and key, it’s an essential part of the creative process.
I keep re-reading my e-mail from RTE to check that I am still on the MacManus Shortlist, I’m beyond delighted!
Anna May x
Off topic, but: have you done something to your code? When I try to click through to you from my site it goes straight back to my site. I tried deleting the link and reposting it, but it still just goes straight to Woman Who Talked Too Much, even though the RSS feed does show your site.
Hello Marie, thanks for letting me know. I will investigate. It could be that the Algerian Freedom Fighters who seized my site over the Easter weekend have messed about with my code. Hope all is good with you,
Anna May x
Still doesn’t work, very strange. My mother is from Algeria though, so maybe you are right…
Hi Marie, I’ve been promised it will work soon, sorry for the inconvenience. Most mums are non freedom fighters when it comes to their children so yours must have been great fun ?
Anna May x