Last night I met with a man who has been an in patient at our local NHS hospital recently. He was terrified by the poor standards of hygiene on his ward and made a dark reference to a bath mat that looked like it was woven from pubic hair from numerous donors.
His wife brought him some baby lotion wipes for his body and Dettox wipes for the furniture, floor and loo seat to protect him from the threat of MRSA and C Diff . She arrived one evening to visit and saw that he had found a novel use for them. Her beloved was propped up in bed with a baby wipe trailing from each nostril. He said the wipes were lifesavers when the man in the next bed used the bedpan.
Plugging his nose didn’t stop his eyes watering, though, which explains why he accidentally used Dettox wipes for an all over body wash in the bathroom a short time later. And how the loo seat, light switch, taps and door handle of the Gents Washroom in Ward H got a liberal coat of baby lotion.
When I buy wipes and my husband sees them he shouts “WIPES? WIPES?” in a very high agitated voice as though I have brought home Class A drugs or live grenades and unpacked them into the cleaning cupboard. He is an environmentalist and doesn’t do the cleaning which is why he thinks a bar of sunlight soap, a metal bucket and a bristle scrubbing brush are all that’s needed to keep his house clean.
But you couldn’t jam any of them up your nose in a bedpan emergency situation, could you ?
Hilarious, as usual, Anna May!
I am quite green and, tbh, don’t clean the house too often as it’s a complete waste of my time, but I firmly believe in wipes for bathroom floors.
Like your husband, my partner doesn’t clean, either. In fact, men don’t seem to see dirt at all, if you ask me.
Pretending not to see the dirt- that old trick! They see their hot dinners just fine don’t they? And my husband caresses his racing bicycle clean once week AND he picks ticks off the dog (YUK) – men are pick and choose cleaners and get away with it by playing dumb.
Anna May x