Anna May Mangan’s Writing News

Here I am back from the ski slopes. The glare of so much snow meant I couldn’t open my eyes in daylight, and the silence of the mountains muffled by fresh snowfalls made it so silent that I feared I’d gone deaf and my family skied away into the distance so I hardly spoke all week. I feel like my brain has been deep cleaned.

The antipasti was a challenge. I was convinced it was a side salad for our eventual main course and sat at the table swiping forks out of my family’s hand and hissing with disapproval when they attempted to eat. I was trying to prevent a hari kari breach of etiquette. Turns out you should eat your anti pasti before your starter and we held up 80 other diners whilst the waiters stood for 20 minutes and watched us watching but not eating our auntie patsies. Finally Les from Wigan, who was rubbish at snow ploughs but in the know about  Italian dining told us to scoff it quick, or else. He was hungry and wanted an early night.

  Travel is so wonderful for broadening the mind, and the waist. Antipasti, pasta, main course, dessert and cheese…………and plenty of Gaviscon at bedtime.

It wasn’t all up and down this Christmas. There was some around and around too because  last night we went to see Carousel at the Savoy Theatre. What a musical celebration of wife beating that was.

The most uplifting thing about the entire night was Lesley Garrett’s bra. She sang the only song I was looking forward to, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ with her face buried in Julie Jordan’s booosooooms.  They must be ringing after those high notes.

I hated everything about the show, except Mrs Snow, and that was only because I’d enjoyed my ski trip so much.