It’s been announced today that I have won The Guardian’s Mary Stott Prize 2008. I entered in September and was so convinced that I had more chance of winning Miss Universe than a national writing award, that I didn’t even keep a copy of my entry. So I’ve managed to win and lose. I’ve had […]

Cruise Control

Suri Cruise is a delectable little girl and clearly brings enormous joy to her parents Katie and Tom Cruise who kiss and carry her a lot, dress her up to the nines and have even allowed her to help herself to a lorry load of toys from a New York department store.

It’s delightful that […]

It Wasn’t the Butler…

OK, I admit there are 1001 more important things to worry about but it’s like an unsolved crime and it’s bugging me……

Strictly didn’t finish too early on Saturday night, did it ? There was no time to spare at the end of the show, was there ?

So if the BBC didn’t have a […]

Witchy Winner

Strictly was all very odd on Saturday night. Camilla looked completely dishevelled with housework hair, a baggy red dress and a pms expression on her face all evening.

And, if my husband had got out onto that dancefloor and plaited and unplaited legs with his partner in a thrilling argentine tango I would have […]

Emu’s Ass

My son has been showing my husband and I pre skiing exercises. Think Emu with an ass the size of Wales, knees bent in ski goggles. That’s my husband. I look great in position.

It’s very true that you need to be fit to ski. You also need to be super fit to shop for […]

Austin’s Abs and Miss Whiplash

Bye Bye Austin, but yuk to getting your abs out for your farewell dance on Strictly. One minute it’s all about your four young daughters and next it’s pass the baby oil for all the wrong reasons.

Will Lisa’s bra-less boosoooms and Tom’s uncovered ass cheeks be on display in the next fortnight ?


Fat Noses and PMS

Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Bloaty, Sleepy, Forgetful and Psycho – these are the seven menopausal dwarves which I have just seen on the internet. I laughed so much at these names that I was sadly reminded that my pelvic floor muscles are now deep in the basement of my body and are no good to me […]

2 o’clock and all is not well

To register my family at a new GP practice I was asked to provide documentation. I turned up at the surgery, paperwork in hand, as a man was leaving. He kindly held the door open for me and I headed for the reception desk which was womanned by a receptionist who clearly loved shopping at […]

Group Grub

If I was on one of those team building raft constructing weekends with work colleagues I’d collect my own log, stash it in my hotel room, and then head for the spa. I could have it (the log and the spa) all to myself whilst my peers fought for survival and made friends for […]