Man Boobs and Bull

What about last night’s Strictly? That bloodcurdling scream from Austin haunted my sleep. I think he must have realised he’d forgotten his shirt and was paso-ing with his moobs (man boobs) out in front of 8 million viewers. Do you ever have that naked dream ?

Austin was like John Sergeant’s grandson out there, with […]

Can’t Behr those Eyebrows

I am genetically convinced that women are the smarter sex, but sometimes a sister lets the side down. I’m talking here about latest jungle evictee Danni Behr’s extraordinary drawn on eyebrows. My husband asked me to explain why women do that thing, and I (unusually) was stumped for an answer.

Do any men draw moustaches […]

Gordon the Gofer-her

So Gordon Ramsay’s been nipping out of the marital home to pot his noodle ?

Tana should insist that he stirs a heavy bottomed pan of bubbling hot sauce with his willy as retribution.

The man’s a great chef but apparently without taste as he’s been snaffling up Jeffrey Archer’s leftovers, with a drizzle […]

FRISKY 50

Happy Birthday To Me !

My husband made me a collage (Blue Peter had a very strong grip on him as a child) and in it there were photographs of the ten houses we’ve lived in with our four children in since we got married 26 years ago.

Looking at those photos brought back […]

Dear John……

John. Gone. Arlene. Mean.

Dancing and Dangling

Lisa’s too desperate, Austin is too much of a turn off, Rachel and Vincent should get a room (in a doll’s house), Christine is too forgettable and John is dancing deja vu. I’m warming to Jodie, the dancing tree, and I’m now convinced that nice guy Tom will win. But where is the passion, innit […]

PARTYPANTS

Yes ladies, it’s THAT time of year again. The party season is here so get your strangulation underwear out of those bottom drawers and blow the cobwebs off.

I can’t because I sent mine back for a refund after wearing them last year. Revolting, I know but It was retribution for the pain and suffering […]

Dancing Mean

I’m strictly stroppy today after the way those judges treated the cuddly wuddly John Sergeant who has galloped, cantored and trotted his way through all his dances gamely propped up and steered by his russian bride Kristina. She clearly dotes on her ageing sugar big-daddy.

And Sergeant John certainly is entertaining, which is more than […]

Dog Hotpot and Purple Tights

Just met my 18 year old daughter’s driving instructor who called in to collect her for their first lesson together. I smiled at him and was full of pity because he was about to spend an hour trying to teach an 18 year old who already knows everything about everything.

My border collie Banna […]