Our Hice

My husband hides in his garage – A LOT.  It’s a place where a man can be a man, play his tin whistle and stroke his bicycles in peace. I ignore the chaos, the crunching underfoot and the rat traps in there and bring tea and biscuits as required – doing my  heroic best to zone out from the desecration all around. It’s like an explosion in the Screwfix factory out there.

Last Saturday he was hanging one of his bikes up in the garage after he’d eaten brussel sprout soup for lunch and baked beans on toast for breakfast. He scared himself with a passing of wind so violent that when he felt a draught behind him he thought he’d blown open the garage doors. But Oh No. The door had been opened by the very poshest woman in our whole street. She has hair like the queen and wears scarves with clasps, lace up shoes and thinks our ‘hice’ is frightfully nice.

She had come on urgent business and nabbed my husband in the garage to tell him what she had just seen. Our cat Kitty who is a good friend to  her cat Arabella, had been run over by a car and was lying dead on the nearby main road.

My husband couldn’t be sure if her distress as she delivered this sad tale was because of the cat’s demise or what she was smelling. He said the way she was staggering around and closing her eyes whilst pressing a monogrammed hankerchief to her mouth and retching made it difficult to read.

He interrupted my catch up viewing  of a weeks worth of Dr Phil to tell me that our cat was no more.  He was armed with a shovel and a bin bag and planning to be civic,  scrape her up  and give her a decent burial next to the 9 hamsters that died in my care over a 10 week period last year. No,  I can’t explain. Our eyes would meet and the furry little creature would keel over. That’s all.

But this story has a happy ending (for us) beacuse it turned out to be another poody woody that had been squashed. Kitty is alive and well and living on the front doorstep because she’s in a huff with our border collie who tries to climb on her back for piggy back rides when she comes indoors.

My husband is on a low fibre diet at present and even the neighbours are enjoying the environmental improvements in and around our hice…..

4 comments to Our Hice

  • This gave me a good laugh and brightened up my Monday morning. I am convinced that the man in garage/shed thing is in their genes…I always though Thora Hird’s character in Last of the summer wine was superb when dealing with her TV husband’s shed activities!

  • Everyman must have his shed! it’s in our DNA!

    Anna May, another wonderfully written tale of life, thanks. Keep it up!

  • Hey Anna! Thanks for the link to your site! Hope all is well, it’s been crazy lately! You’re a funny lady! Never got to know you very well but happy about your success and I love the pink website (I like pink a lot!).

    Tina xxx

  • Kay S

    I enjoyed you shed tale. I too once had a nasty experience in a shed but, hey, that’s another story. All the best K